"Fix the women" and other harmful messages you are not aware you are producing

Women Leadership Network.png

Konstantin Koukos, DEI and Change Consultant

What do our messages convey

Words are powerful. Language is powerful. Most of the time, we cannot even grasp the impact they have, without our consent and subconsciously. The way we think and form sentences is undeniably linked to stereotypes, historical events and expressed through our roles in society. This happens in parallel to the way systems and processes are "working" around us, without a single snippet of debate. Just because this is the way we have been doing things all along. This can be truly hurtful though and immensely counterproductive to communities and groups we are designing our systems to work for.

It happens all the time. Anywhere and everywhere

So far, you might have no idea what I am referring to, so let me explain. It was when I saw a post on LinkedIn, a few days ago, from an HR Professional starting with the sentence: "Unlocking the female potential". And there it was. I blocked all other info that this post had, just because of the way this started.

Our society and organisations have formed our mindsets and our language in a way that it is acceptable to receive a sentence like "Unlocking the female potential". What we do not recognise, however, is how much this sentence can hurt female and male and non-binary mindsets in various ways.

"Unlocking female potential" puns as if female potential (if that, alone, ever needed to be gendered) is locked and therefore we need to "fix" it and... "unlock" it, release it and all our problems in our organisations will be solved. And this is problematic in various ways. No matter how problematic something like this can be, similar examples are all over around us, within companies, our messages and our interactions. Whether that is called "Female Leadership Network", "Women on Board initiative", "Negotiation skills for women course", "Finance for women" or just "Women in Tech" it does the same. It screams: "Fix the women". This does not only imply that women need support in order to achieve certain things (whether that is a promotion or access to their equal pay right) but also repeats stereotypes and ultimately takes attention away from the main problem here. The problem being to fix a system, our processes and our programmes that are broken, biased and unequal (most of the time).

However, I may be wrong. Because networks can be important for connection, sharing of knowledge and contacts. I don't oppose the idea of networks and certain initiatives being used as a safe space for groups or minorities within the companies (see Employee Resource Groups) where employees are provided with tools and network and a safe space. But the approach and the exposure we give to certain networks and initiatives and, more importantly, the way we put words around them, can be counterproductive to what we are trying ultimately to achieve.

So, what to do, basically every time when we design an initiative or simply our internal communication material if we want to be mindful and not to fall into traps that will do harm instead of good?

1. Ask, Debate and apply different perspectives

Easier said than done. Choose your words wisely and ask yourself whether you would choose the same words or initiatives for another gender, for example. After all, we all can agree that we are not trying to "fix" anyone, rather than change structures and systems that are creating barriers for everyone to thrive. Ask, each time, a simple question as that: "Would I have the same initiative for a dominant in my organisation group (males, for example)" ?, "What are the benefits that employees can gain from participating in an initiative or a network like that, that I cannot provide to them in another way? Can I provide them what I think they need in another way instead of "targeting" them in my communication?"

2. One size does not fit all

Design your initiatives by bringing intersectionality into the game. One size never fits all in an organisation and by "targeting" one group of employees in your organisation, can exclude so many individuals within this group! I am talking about intersectionality and please reach out if you want to know more. Overall, think about how complex our identities are and start thinking across them instead of silos only.

3. Get rid of the "lazy perspective"

Working with DEI is hard work. It does not only take passion (to change our organisations) but we also need the skills and the expertise to do so. Talking only about gender in your company is lazy. Might be beneficial in the short-term but it is definitely not sustainable for your company. It is even more lazy, when we have not articulated our projects and initiatives in a constructive way. Yes, there are tons of things that we need to look into when it comes to gender and board positions, for example. However, talking only about one diversity dimension is lazy (see intersectionality). I get the argument that we need to focus and conquer, however, think about how your focus, or attention to a specific group, may create more negative consequences than positive ones. Instead, be more specific with your initiatives, after you've done your work and backed up everything with data.

4. Learn about the visibility paradox

This is a difficult one. You might have not seen the documentary "Disclosure" on Netflix but maybe it is time to do so. In 90 minutes, Laverne Cox and Jen Richards, share, among other important insights, the visibility paradox. The paradox is about the negative consequences for the transgender community that derive from the positive representation of the community. Simply put, one might have thought that showing transgender folks on the screen could help folks that do not belong in the community learn more, get inspired and create stronger allyship bonds with the transgender community. Yet, it does exactly the opposite. More transgender folks have been hurt than ever before due to that visibility. Yes, this brings a whole new lens on how we see and plan for representation within our organisations and once more, the transgender community paves the way for change. Therefore, the visibility we give to i.e. women in our organisations can simply be counterproductive to what we are trying to achieve.


Keen on learning more about how we can help you with your initiatives? Book a free consultation with me