Diversity and inclusion evokes conflicts
… and conflicts call for a distinct and inclusive leader.
Research abroad and in Denmark show that leaders are using around 20 % of their time on managing conflicts. The Center for Creative Leadership found that 85 % of leaders are experiencing conflicts on a weekly basis. From our experience, when working with organizations on DEI, these topics evoke strong emotions which can lead to potential conflicts and oppositions in the organization where different values and beliefs will be called out. In our latest blog-post, we talked about why diverse teams crash, and we shared our experiences as well as some useful tips.
However, we must not fear conflict because it’s a highway to learn and develop. Resistance is an expected and human reaction to changes as well as conflicts. In this post, we are exploring the reasons behind why conflicts occur, when working with DEI and how you deal with them.
During a cultural transformation we mostly deal with value conflicts and personal conflicts. We all come with different experiences, knowledge and values, and we will always look at things differently. The conflicts can be outspoken but also be more subtle. Unspoken conflicts can be a huge barrierer for both inclusion and performance.
You can use the Circle of Conflict developed by Christopher Moore to understand the underlying reason and thereby find alanguage to resolve a conflict. Whether it is a conflict of relationship where you have to notice and acknowledge the tensions in order to build trust, or a conflict of values where the involved parties must listen without judgement, explore the differences and learn to accept them. Regardless of form and reason: the sooner you identify the potential conflict and start the dialogue, the sooner you will be able to support your team towards collaboration and innovation.
Expected reactions with resistance
Conflicts between team members may arise be it differing values or lived experiences. It is not uncommon for team members with privilege or majority status to have the following reactions: “I am a good person!!!” . “I would never harm intentionally,” they might add. “It is just for fun” they can argue. “But we all have equal opportunities, it is a matter of just taking them” they state.
When asking someone to walk in other people’s shoes, respect differing lived experiences, and take into account their own behavior it is like turning their world upside down. It’s not a simple task, but a paradigm shift which can result in strong feelings and expressions. As a leader and a colleague this shift and resistance to change requires time, patience, and empathy.
Reactions from the feeling of being empowered and allyhood
On the other hand, some might feel heard, seen, and understood. They might feel empowered, excited, and enthusiastic. Moreover, they may develop the hope of positive change, so they will be respected, to belong and be included. And start voicing their opinions and lived experiences - experiences that can be uncomfortable to listen to. The inclusive leader must be able to make sure that this group is being heard, respected and understood.
Passive reactions
We will also come across team members who don't feel like DEI is their business, so to speak. They remain passive, they avoid being involved, they don’t know what to do, how to act, what to say. Least of all they want to be in the middle of the conflict. First of all, it is important as a leader to make these people feel safe to be involved in DEI matters. Next of all this is an important group if you want to make a cultural change. They have to learn, through company communication and awareness training, to care about the matter.
Side note: To be fair, we also have to mention those DEI professionals, project leads and allies to minorities. They are highly loaded, working in this field, and have their own battles to tackle as change managers. But for them we offer a place with other professionals to learn, develop strategies, be inspired and co-create. Take a look here if this is interesting to you.
The leader holds the responsibility to support the change
We need an inclusive leader to steer and choose the right highway and mediate the team when frustrations occur. Therefore the organization must prepare and train leaders, so they are capable of taking action when: someone's toes are stepped on or show resistance to a new direction.
As an inclusive leader you have the responsibility to respond, if you observe small interactions (i.e. micro-interactions) that smells of potential conflict or exclusion. See it as an early warning and stop a potential escalation, where the conflict moves from the matter to the person. Call it out and start the conversation. Acknowledge and point out the elephant in the room if you sense it.
DEI is a never ending journey, and the biggest survival kit you can bring as a leader is curiosity and empathy. This is why it is some of the main focuses when we train leaders in creating inclusive environments and psychological safety in the organizations. Often DEI conversations regarding different beliefs and values, inclusive and exclusive behavior, and professional conflicts in the diverse team. It can take on many forms and some of them can be identified in the circle of conflict.
Tips on how to use the conversation when creating inclusiveness
We have some recommendations for you, when you steer the conversation and support organizational change:
Develop your inclusive leadership:
Use curiosity to understand, and to create understanding
Know that understanding is key, but not solving the issue.
Be curious in order to understand team members and conflicts, but always in an authentic way. Care about it.
Develop your capability to be empathic. Be mindful in every interaction.
Know that your way of acting, behaving and dealing with conflicts is copied within the team. You are key to an inclusive culture in the team. Lead the way
As a mediator and inclusive leader:
React as soon as you are sensing vibrations or observing not tolerant behavior. (Maybe you need a wingperson until you are able to sense those things yourself) Start the conversation.
Create a safe space for everyone to speak their mind, but help setting the respectful tone.
A present conflict between two team members: Start with facts → how is it interpreted → how does it make one feel → what are the needs → how do you meet them.
Use peacetime to develop strategies and guiding principles on how to tackle DEI challenges. Create a baseline for acceptable behavior and how to deal with conflicts in a respectful manner. Write it down and stick to it.
You are more than welcome to be inspired by our guiding principles. Let’s be honest. Sometimes we have a lot on our plates, and when working in diverse teams, you need something that is outlined to fall back on. Then you do not have to use energy on how to come around a conflict or misunderstanding. When that is said, we will encourage you to talk about it and use our guidelines for inspiration
As always, reach out if your organization wants to learn more about how to deal with reactions/change resistance from employees on the DEI journey and how to act as an inclusive leader. We are always happy to help you create a more inclusive environment.
Resources:
Does working as a D&I professional carry a hidden cost?
Forandringsledelse og forandrings kommunikation, Bjarne Kausholt.
How to Quickly Spot Causes of Conflict in the Workplace. The 10minute leader.
Is There An Elephant In The Room? Name It And Tame It
Leadership Development Beyond Competencies Moving to a Holistic Approach, Center for Creative Leadership.
Research from Institute for Mindful Leadership
The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth, Amy Edmondson
The Mind of the Leader, Hougaard et al